I was not born into a Christian family. My mom was introduced to Christianity in 1996 by a new friend who she would marry later that year. I too became a Christian that year (96). I have no doubt that my original belief was nothing more than childlike gullibility. However, throughout my teenage years, my faith grew and I became more aware of what I believed and why I believed it. As an adult, I have become familiar with most of the common apologetic arguments. 1 Peter 3:15 makes it clear that I am required to give an account of my belief system. I have taken very seriously the charge of knowing what I believe and why I believe it. In 2010 I completed a three year theological training program within my denomination. I serve in several churches as a guest preacher. In just these past months, however, I have been finding it harder and harder to cling to my belief system. Mainstream apologetics just don't seem to stand up.
The biggest issue I seem to be wrestling with right now is the Bible. Sure, if you look at it just right, explain it in just the right way, and "properly contextualize", you can almost make it appear as if there are no contradictions. Fine. Here's my issue: If God is who he says he is, and if he desires to impart absolute truth to humanity, why would he use a method that is so open to interpretation? Globally, there are many traditions under the label of Christianity. Key beliefs, however, vary widely between these different traditions. Again, why would such important truths be open to such a wide range of interpretation?
And so, here I am, agnostic. My worldview has changed dramatically.
